Troop Zero

Troop Zero is an embarrassment.

And Christmas is an outcast. This is partly because kids can be mean, and because Christmas pees her pants. But partly, it’s because she believes her deceased mom is up in the stars. Each night, she tunes in to the sky, waiting for a sign.

Maybe she’s found it. The winner of the local Birdie Scout competition will get to record a message for NASA to send into space. But first, Christmas needs to find herself a troop.

This movie means well—but it was written with a sledgehammer. Each scout is stranger than the next, with basically no character development in explanation. Their relationships are forced, and their rural Georgian community is whitewashed.

It tries desperately to create memorable moments, throwing out one-liners, slow-mo, and anything else that might stick. None of it does.