The Batman

There are two types of long movies: those that feel long, and those that run long. The Batman belongs in the second category, its mystery getting better with each passing minute.

Watching the first few scenes had me thinking other thoughts, though. Cross-cuts of a city living distrustfully; baddies doing bad with tortured smiles on their faces . . . we’ve seen this before, I thought. Even our lead’s entrance was more silly-comical than comic-comical. As the camera finally settled down to focus on something—you guessed it, shadow—only footsteps were discernible. Affecting for sure, but after so many seconds, surely their maker would’ve entered the light by now? By now??

The rest of this movie, however, is a marvel. Its writing respects us, providing a complex story that we must wrestle with alongside our hero. Its characters, motivated by emotions that each one of us has felt. And the dilemma it presents goes to our social core: What should we do with animals who are capable of both greatest evil and greatest good?

Spoiler: Even Batman isn’t sure. Indeed, our pale, eye-make-up’ed hero is more emo than anything else. After working by night to stop crime, he drags himself home to write in his diary. Does a people which chooses to eat itself deserve saving? Rather than filling this movie with fight scenes (though the few are heart-pumping), he prefers to observe. To ask questions. Especially about the fame-killings.

Civic leaders are being murdered, folks! Perhaps even worse, the culprit(s?) are doing this to spotlight terrible hypocrisies committed by those figureheads of justice. And we thought the city was bad before . . .

As you can imagine, Batman races desperately against time to figure out what’s going on—with these crimes, with their messages, and with his complicated past (all of which could be connected). Together, the crimes and his reactions create a dialogue. And wow is it suspenseful.

Darkness is the word to describe this one. From its lighting to its themes (and really, every technical aspect in between), it is measured, expert. I never once looked away from the screen to check the time.

The Matrix Resurrections

Resurrections? I’m not sure anything died.

Something sure does stink, though.

You see, three Matrix movies preceded this one, and that trilogy stands as a monument in movie history. Its blend of ground-breaking visual effects, wild choreography, and intricate storytelling blasted philosophy off a dusty page and onto on our modern screens. It made questioning reality fun.

The Matrix Resurrections tries to do the same. Unfortunately, it relies too much on what’s been done before without adding anything meaningful.

This one starts with our saviors, Neo and Trinity, living obliviously amongst their sheep. Just a mom at work and a video game coder going through the motions. How did this happen?

Neo’s therapy sessions and psychotic visions enlighten us. He has put so much of his hopes and fears into his popular video game (called The Matrix) that he now can’t distinguish his memories from game sequences.

Much of the movie passes by before we learn why. And much of that is filled with clips and characters from the original trilogy. Not only are these callbacks overkill for those who don’t know the backstory, they are jarring for anyone who does. They’re reminders that what we’re witnessing pales in comparison to the original stuff.

So Neo is unsure about his reality; Neo is awakened; Neo must fight machines; the odds seem awful. We’ve seen this all before, folks. Having watched The Matrix Resurrections, I now feel like I’ve met the lazy, insecure child of one of my heroes. There is something recognizable in it, but nothing that grips me.

All that said, kudos must go to many of the moviemakers on this one; the production and set design, the special effects, and the camerawork especially drew us in even as the writing worked so hard to take us out.

Spider-Man: No Way Home

It’s way deep down, I think. The one, irreducible reason why we watch movies. We want to feel again how we felt that very first time, when something on a screen had us thinking, just, WOW.

Sometimes I think chasing that sensation is useless. And then a movie like Spider-Man: No Way Home comes along and I have hope again. Just, WOW.

I’ll get to the story in ten seconds, but at the risk of overstating things, it’s hard to understate how well written, produced, and acted this movie was. The action/adventure/thrills are entertaining, yes; but more importantly, they are held together by the strands of a believable coming-of-age story. In this one, empathy and love don’t always make things easier. Characters—both good and bad—have nuanced internal struggles. This is a superhero movie, matured.

Peter Parker therefore struggles for much of it. This good-natured, rather jacked teen is trying to figure out how to best live in a world that villainizes his superhero alter ego, Spider-Man. His loved ones (Aunt May, girlfriend MJ, friend Ned) usually keep him grounded, but he’s tired of the dramas of his life hurting theirs. So he asks an older, wiser fellow superhero, Dr. Strange, for help. Oh child, how the problems do follow.

If you ever have the chance, I would recommend not pulling on a loose string in the fabric of space and time. To share any other plot points with you would be to spoil (several, wonderful) WOW moments, but it’s sufficient to say that this movie is as fun and funny as it is surprising and deep. Truly a blockbuster.

Sure, you’ll enjoy the story far more if you’re a fan of comic books, previous Marvel or Spider-Man movies. But I wouldn’t consider myself much of either, and boy—no, man—have I been trapped in this web. I am so happy about it.

Squid Game (오징어 게임)

How did you fare on the playground? Be honest with yourself.

OK, good. Now that you have an answer, it doesn’t matter. Squid Game will chew you up and spit you out regardless.

It’s a jarring, violent story—but one so inventive and compelling that you’ll see yourself in the characters even as you’re repulsed by them.

Gi-hun introduces us to it all ever so innocently. He appears to be a degenerate gambler like any other, stealing from his elderly mother here, letting down his daughter there. But then a strange thing happens.

The man is given an offer: play on a grand scale. Play a game that, with debts like yours, it would be foolish to turn down . . .

To those of us with impulse control, this would appear too good to be true. And it is.

After Gi-hun accepts, a complex mystery is presented. This game has severe rules, in a severe setting. And Gi-hun is not alone. Not at all alone.

Each episode illustrates a bit more about the game’s players and creators, but devilishly leaves us wanting more. And the game itself? Disturbingly compelling. Our playground pastimes, adultified. Nine episodes of binge-worthy, nail-biting entertainment await you.

The winner will take home a prize that does something to our animal brains. All of them. Even us viewers safely watching outside the screen know this is crazy; we know this is unfair and violent and impractical, and yet we ponder it anyway. Watch it anyway.

It’s the kind of show you desperately want to talk about with someone else. Not necessarily because it’s good, but because it taps into something universal, illustrating and examining our human strategies to this game of life.

I watched every episode of Squid Game like an addict: always high, never satisfied. Am I happy about it?

Space Jam: A New Legacy

To succeed, don’t do what you want; do what they tell you.

This is what LeBron James—perhaps the greatest basketball player of all time—tells his computer-code-wiz son, Dom. By working hard and pushing computer games aside, he says, one can provide for themself and their whole family.

LeBron may be right. And this is a big problem.

You see, Al G. Rhythm is jealous of it all. The fame, the adoration. As an algorithm for Warner Brothers Studios, his work creating movies has gone unloved and unrewarded. But not anymore.

Al has a plan to finally win over the hearts of humans: He will kidnap LeBron and Dom and challenge them to a game of high-stakes basketball. Oh, and whereas Al’s teammates will be NBA and WNBA superstars, LeBron must pick his crew from the lowliest of the low, some stale old Warner Brothers intellectual property called the Looney Toons.

If you have questions at this point, I have answers. Yes, this movie is ridiculous. Yes, about half of it is as stiff and try-hard as you’re afraid it’s going to be.

In fact, it feels like Warner Brothers rushed through the brainstorming phase and made this movie purely to advertise its previous hits: It constantly ties characters, quotes, and even clips from its more successful movies into this story. Sometimes it works, but most times it doesn’t. It’s uncomfortable and embarrassing to watch a studio stoop this low, just as it’s embarrassing to think that in what was clearly planned as a blockbuster advertisement for itself, it decided to have its own computer—the thing that we’re supposed to believe creates its movie ideas—be evil. (Let’s not even think about the computer knowing that the Looney Toons have overcome impossible odds to win a basketball game before, and that it has decided to attain human validation by beating down a human admired by millions of people.)

So, this movie may be the most expensive, least effective advertisement of all time. But it’s not all bad. LeBron’s conflict with his son Dom is believable, and Dom’s acting is genuinely good. LeBron’s slighty-more-stiff delivery even punches up a few one liners. And the second half of the movie almost redeems the first: It reinvigorates the clever ridiculousness of the Looney Toons of old, toying with our natural instincts and creating laughs for the whole family. 

But that’s not enough. Although light and family-friendly, Space Jam: A New Legacy is a forgettable movie. Though “don’t overthink it” can sometimes be good advice about a movie, this is more a “don’t think it at all” one, which, if you ask me, is not a worthy way to spend your valuable time.

America: The Motion Picture

Lest you forget that the Declaration of Independence was written over a game of beer pong, or that Washington and Lincoln were totes besties . . . behold, America: The Motion Picture.

It throws whatever you know about American history into a blender, and pours out a raunchy, pun-filled adventure. Namely, some of America’s biggest names form a supergroup to, well, form the nation.

It’s mostly outrageous, and often hilarious. Take Sam Adams. He’s just a beer-chugging college bro, with blind dedication that’s somehow endearing—and racist giggles that’re telling. The writing respects people’s contributions while acknowledging their (grievous) faults. But what’s it all for?

Washington is our main character, and his inner journey leads him to realize that what makes America great is its openness. But in a whiplash moment even for such a wacky story, the movie ends with Americans fighting because of their differences, and Washington losing hope.

This is disappointing. If the moviemakers wanted to make a ridiculous, fun movie, they could’ve done so. But they brought in philosophy, and only did half the work.

Free thinking is not just a luxury, it is a responsibility to approach other ideas with patience and charity—especially if you disagree. The moviemakers seem smart enough to understand this, so the next time they make a movie about their country burning down, they’d do better than to simply draw a caricature from across the street, point, and laugh.

Tenet

Tenet spelled backward is Tenet. But Tenet spelled forward is Tenet . . . So which way is which? And what if the fate of the world depended on your answering correctly?

For our lead, this problem is too real. Not only does he need to find the bad guys, he needs to fight their new weapon. Think apple falling up the tree. Or bullet speeding into the gun.

Confused? You’re not the only one. But our lead has a knack for asking the right questions—and throwing the right punches.

This movie is complicated, sprawling, exhausting—but exciting and impressive. It’s a globe-trotting, mind-bending, action-packed dream, and our brains can’t keep up.

Peppermint

Riley ain’t so sweet. In fact, she’s hell-bent on revenge. Looks like Diego and his gang messed with the wrong mom.

Fine. Everyone wants justice. But the tone here is way too dark. The “hero” does more harm than good, and the movie doesn’t explore whether it’s justified.

The twists are good enough to make us curious whether Riley will get satisfaction, but in the end, there’s little satisfying about this shootfest. Too bad. It’s a waste of good performances by each of the police crew, and action by our lead.

Get Duked

Teenagers can suck. These three stand out even in that crowd, so they’re sent to the Scottish countryside for detention. The idea goes: You can’t fool around if you want to survive.

What could go wrong? A lot, it turns out. Especially when drugs and secret societies are involved.

This movie is just outrageous. It’s hilarious, punchy, and filled with youthful irreverence. The leads work well together, and as silly as it is, it makes an interesting point.

Freaks: You're One of Us

Wendy holds back most day days. She’s become a pushover who can’t support her family.

It doesn’t have to be this way. If Wendy lets loose, she can take on anything. But her solution is her problem: Superhuman abilities can hurt people as easily as they can get things done. We watch as she (and some new friends) struggle through this dilemma.

This is a bit slower, and has less action than your typical superhero movie—which makes it refreshing and believable. Instead of yet another fight scene we can guess the ending to, each new interaction brings excitement and mystery.

That said, there’s no good without evil. Some scenes have distracting continuity issues. Characters are underdeveloped, and plot holes are jumped, all in the hopes that we’ll be happy enough rooting for the good guy.

My Spy

Jeff is ex-special forces, a hands-on type. He’ll need to learn subtlety for his new spy gig.

The next mission might help. Or, it might be glorified babysitting. Only one way to find out.

This leads to more than a few funny moments. Sophie, her wit and relationship with Jeff, is the source of most. When she’s off the screen, though, the movie loses its charm. It’s a sweet premise that requires one too many stretches of the imagination.

Mulan

Hua Mulan is gifted. We all have qi, but she’s got a country’s worth.

The problem? Boundless energy is not marriage material. The bigger problem? Invaders threaten the nation, and if Mulan wants to help defend it, she’ll have to break all the rules.

What follows is a colorful, nuanced, and exciting epic, suitable for all ages. Perhaps more impressively, it is all these things while examining what it means to live a virtuous life.

This is no fluff, or nostalgia trip.

Project Power

Project Power is quite the experiment.

Power now comes in a pill. There’s money to be made here—and people to be exploited.

As the drug makes its way through the city, the lives of three very different people will intersect. Their relationships and motivations, their fear and abilities, draw you in.

So is the experiment a success? Prepare for some eye-rolls. But the story, lead acting, music, sound mix, pace, and camerawork—they’re the work of experts.

The Old Guard

The Old Guard is something new.

In a world filled with wrongs, they fight for what’s right. And there’s nobody better.

Why? It’s a secret few know, and one that Big Pharma will stop at nothing to learn. So begins the latest fight.

It’s not every day an action movie blends espionage, fantasy, history, and philosophy into something that goes down easy. This one does. A cast more-representative-than-usual adds to the justice theme, and the writing can be downright poetic.

Guns Akimbo

Guns Akimbo shoots and misses.

Skizm livestreams real deathmatches. Miles has always preferred screen life over real life, but even he knows this is wrong. He fights back by trolling Skizm’s fans; real tough guy stuff.

Bad decision. When Skizm toys with Miles, he has no choice but to fight for real—and for his life.

The movie has an interesting premise, but it’s no more than one long chase scene with gun battles. Writing aims for woke though uses violence just like the bad guys do: to glorify and entertain.

Early camerawork and editing hit the target at least. They are powerfully disorienting, forcing us to feel a sickening situation.

Da 5 Bloods

Da 5 Bloods are back at it.

Well, four are. Reuniting in Vietnam to recover the remains of their friend and leader. It’s all smiles and stories. But da Bloods have another, fantastically dangerous and exciting job to do, too. And so an epic story unfolds.

This jungle of a world will require their sacrifice once again. But they’re older and wiser now. They take time to call out the black (male) trailblazers who continue to inspire their lives. In these moments, the movie turns documentary, giving us real names. Real images. This chops the flow a bit, but is informative and powerful, reflective and celebratory.

It’s a complex movie in other ways, looking at pain across years and borders. Of how people pushed up against the wall can claw at each other. Paul’s journey is expertly played, and includes one of the most enveloping soliloquies you’ll see in movies.

MFKZ

MFKZ be wilin!

Sooner or later, Dark Meat City will eat up Angelino. The scrawny punk commands no respect, at work or on the streets. He has more roaches in his apartment than friends in the world.

It’s confusing to everyone, then, when he begins to be chased as if he’s the world’s most wanted. Maybe there’s something to him after all.

This movie is a hood fairy tale of grand proportions. A modern David unlocks his true potential, while uncovering an evil so pervasive Goliath would drown in it. The illustration and writing are meticulous, and create a world where fantasy and cold, hard ghetto mix. Though there are some head-scratching moments, all in all it’s a different and fun movie.

Dead in a Week (Or Your Money Back)

You’ll survive this movie, but may want your money back.

William is a sad (excuse for a) man. He can’t seem to do anything right—suicide included.

So, William hires an assassin. Leslie is a professional, and can make William’s death look like a suicide. Great idea. Unfortunately, William’s luck catches up with Leslie, again and again . . .

This movie often crosses the line into serious, though it always steps back. That’s to be expected from a work that looks for humor in dark situations. Even so, the dance feels inappropriate. There is little thoughtful discussion of William’s depression, and many of the jokes feel “too soon.”

Polar

Jam the worst parts of a lot of movies together, and you get Polar.

The Black Kaiser looks forward to retiring soon. Assassins usually don’t survive to see their pension, but this killer is the best of the best. Unfortunately for him, some other assassins would rather end his life than his tenure.

This movie has some creative twists, but it is mostly worn-out gimmicks and violence porn. The story is unbelievable in several basic ways, and there is gratuitous use of (only) female private parts.